What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Do you know what she said mum?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Why do some of those who believe in a god refuse to consider the possibility they could be wrong?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

What should I do if I love a girl and she apparently doesn't love me?

What! how could you do that?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

What do you mean son?

Why do heterosexual men like anal sex with women? I think it's because they secretly want to have anal sex with a man? What do you think?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

True - how I loved my mum!